I'm Selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, But if you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best-- Well as my title says I'm a beautiful disaster. I've made a lot of mistakes and I'm paying for them. This is pretty much my journal, my thoughts and feelings out for the world to see. Talking to friends, you get judged, airing it out over ther internet people either stop and read or just ignore. So do as you please =)
You don’t know if you’re the first person she’s ever truly trusted. You don’t know if you’re the last guy she’s going to give her all to. If you’re not ready to be the guy that stays in her life then don’t even get her hopes up because if you leave then that could change her outlook on guys, relationships, trust or even life.
I don’t remember the last time I cried sober… even worse is that I don’t remember a sober heartbreak…
Out of no where I realized I’m doing everything I can to give him space when he’s across the country, to occupy myself from checking my phone for his texts (still do it), his calls (doesn’t happen) or anything. Yet I nothing.
I’ve lost not only my best friend but the guy I love. Truly deeply love. And its now a physical heartbreak /=
Being sober sucks
I was scared shirtless to send this… apology box? It had a dozen jack daniel’s mini plastic bottles and five green blow pops. I was going to arrange them like a bouquet but the box was too small and I started to loose my nerve so I just sent it… now I’m thinking it was a stupid idea and I can’t do anything about it cause it should be there soon )=
What’s done is done… its now in the past.
The only difference is… will you learn from it and move or will you hold on and let define you?
Just realized my dog has more of a life than I do.
He just strolled out of the door at 10pm, met up with this other dog and I’ve been up looking through the blinds to see if I can spot him, I’ve driven up and down streets calling his name.
He’d probably have more contacts and texts then I do if he could text.
I manage to fuck a three year relationship.
I manage to fuck up an eight year friendship that was blossoming into a relationship.
And to fucking top it off my dog runs away from me! FUCK
Does the guy laying next to me cuddling me know I miss my best friend?